Sending out positive thoughts

Tomorrow is our first monitoring appointment for IVF #2. If you look back at my little box about IVF #1, you will see that at our first monitoring appointment I had 9 follies with an e2 of 32. That was after 3 full days of stims. This time it will be after 5 full days of stims. That would equate to my second monitoring...8 follies and e2 of 87. So knowing all of this...I am hoping to be significantly ahead of where I was at that second monitoring. My antral follicle count for this IVF was around 11...I think it was 6 on one side and 5 on the other. I am keeping my fingers crossed for at least 8 follies and an e2 over 100...that would be progress!

So far I have 4 days of stims under my belt and I am feeling a few twinges on the left side. I feel a little bloated...not bad but some clothes are feeling snug. My biggest change is that hope is creeping in! Yes I said it...I am starting to feel hopeful. I am starting to really daydream about what it will be like to see that positive pregnancy test. What I will say to my husband when I call him to tell him the results of the beta. I even want to purchase baby items...but I am refraining from that so far. Okay...I did get my bestie Steph a Beatles onesie. She loves The Beatles and I could not resist. But it was not for me so it does not count....right?

So I am very carefully balancing my hope and wishful thinking with my slap in the face reality. I have not cut out caffeine or alcohol completely but I have cut back. Kinda. I did have 2 iced coffees on Friday afternoon....but one was free. I was saving money. Sorta. But in my hope we went out for sushi on Friday night because I am going to get pregnant and won't be able to eat it for 9 months. See positive thinking! I really want this to work. I want to be a mom....and not just to my dogs. Please God let this work.