Wednesday, June 30, 2010

"All Clear!"

I got the all clear from Dr. P. No polyps...thank God! So we are a go so far for IVF step is baseline next week. If all is well...and it should be...I start estrogen priming on the 10th. This is part of the new protocol. I need to go consult Dr. Google but my basic understanding is that it will help boast my estrogen levels and give some better quality eggs. Of course I could be completely wrong about this. I need to google.

Our anniversary is tomorrow. Hard to believe that it has been 4 years. Be on the look out for a new pic....right over there------------->>>>>>>>>>>>

And of course the 4th of July is right around the corner. Our first here at looking forward to the fireworks. We have heard that they are amazing excited!

Monday, June 28, 2010

Got to love a change in plans

Well that saline sonogram is now Wednesday...fab. Do I sound happy?

Sunday, June 27, 2010

And so it begins again....

I started birth control pills (BCP) for IVF #2 yesterday. So that means I am currently taking three medications all at the same time that make no sense. Pre-natal vitamins (umm...not even pregnant?), DHEA (a lovely generally male supplement that could cause excess facial hair and a deeper voice...great!) and now BCP (am I not trying to get pregnant???). It just seems like such an odd combination. I can only imagine what some random person would say upon walking into my, okay she has these three medications...what the hell?

Honestly though....I am just not "feeling" this cycle. Maybe it is a defense mechanism. I feel a bit "out-of-body" I can see and know that I am taking that BCP but it just does not seem real. I know the dates but they seem so far away. I actually have an appointment for a saline sonogram on Tuesday and it feels like it is weeks away. (More on that in a minute.) I just cannot explain it.

So the whole saline sonogram thing. Remember back in January...I had to have one. Dr. P said my landing zone was perfect. I was so blissfully more milestone that I achieved! I had perfect hormone levels (so laughable now) and a perfect landing zone for my little embryos...but yet even perfect does not work. So anywho...back to this upcoming saline sonogram. For my last two cycles (which are almost exactly, perfectly 28 days apart...whatever) I have had mid-cycle spotting. Normally most people would freak out about this but for me this NEVER happens...never. I have never had any spotting in my entire life. I have nice regular cycles that come every 28 days or so (always within 1-2 days) period last about 2 full days...never heavy. (Well except for right after the last IVF...holy crap was that not fun!) So when this happened the first time, I kind of blew it off as just a fluke thing. But last month it happened again and was a bit more.....TMI ALERT!!!!!.....with lots of clots. Well, that prompted me to call Nurse Dori. I honestly thought she would tell me I was over-reacting and that it was nothing....but nope, she freaked me out. She said she wanted me to do another saline sonogram and check the "landing zone"...she and Dr. P are concerned that I may have a polyp. For fuck's sake...can I not get a fucking break? So what would this mean...well, my IVF cycle would be canceled and I would have to have surgery to remove it. For crying out loud! It would push our IVF back by several months...I don't have several months. And that just makes me so depressed.

And why don't I have months? Because the Navy says so. The reality is that my husband is at the top of the list for the next deployment. Even if I get pregnant with this IVF...he will probably not be here for the birth of his only child(ren). While I know will handle it with grace and beauty (okay maybe not so much, it does make me sad for him. But I have been okay with all of this because he will here during the whole IVF procedure. I want him to be here that...I want him around to take care of me. If this whole thing gets pushed back...there is a chance that he won't be around. Sure we can freeze sperm samples and just use those but I really want him to be the one who holds my hand while I am getting my IV...the one I get to joke around with while Dr. P is getting ready to put back our embryos, not anybody else...not that I would not be appreciative of whomever gets that special job. You see, with deployments comes training...lots of training. Training that would mean BJ would be away for weeks at a time preparing for the 6 months away. The Navy would not care that we were trying to get pregnant...and why should they? They will not say "oh...your wife is getting knocked out to get knocked up? sure go be her."...they need him to be 100% ready to get deployed, regardless of what is going on in our lives. That is life in the Navy...take it or leave it. But honestly we love this life and after many long discussions about is what it is. I will be okay...I just don't have to be excited about the prospect.

So the "summer o' fun" continues for now. We just back from visiting Washington state. It was a really nice week for us...not weather wise but hey that is Seattle right? We took a few days and visited areas that BJ had never been to before. Whidbey Island and the San Juans...a ferry ride (twice!), can you believe my husband had never been on the ferries in Washington state? Apparently in all the times we had been there before we never managed to make it onto a ferry. Poor guy! We also went to Leavenworth. It is this adorable Bavarian town right on the other side of the Cascades. It was a blast walking around the and out of all the shops. Every shop looks like it was moved there from Germany...even the Starbucks and Cold Stone Creamery! We even had a Germany lunch of bratwurst, sauerkraut and sauerbraten. Very yummy!

Needless to say though...we were happy to get back to the hot NC never got over 70 degrees the whole week we were in Seattle. We even had to buy jackets because we neglected to pack them! And I spent most of the week wearing the one..yes one!...pair of jeans that I brought with me. I had packed mostly shorts...the extended forecast had said it would be mid 70's for highs. Oh well! But we are home now and I am loving the almost 100 degree weather here...even when we had to attend the Change of Command 95+ degrees and impending thunderstorms. Bring it on NC!

Friday, June 11, 2010

I Love Shoes!

When you are a chunky size are your best friend. No matter if I gain or lose 10 shoe size stays the same. And I love heels!

I went looking for a pair of brown heels to wear with a brown dress that I recently got. During my search...I found these. They are stunning. It might be hard to tell but the color is pewter and the stones are shades of gray and clear. The heel height is high but not staggering and I just love the peep toe. I am thinking that I am going to wear them to my uncle's wedding...with my pink dress. I am in love! And they are actually comfy to walk in...I walked all over the store in them for about 5 minutes.

Oh and I did get brown wedges for the brown dress, too. ;)

Monday, June 7, 2010

99 Things

I saw this on another blog and loved it...very cool to see what I have done (or not done!) over the course of my life. What I have done is red!

1. Started your own blog
2. Slept under the stars
3. Played in a band
4. Visited Hawaii
5. Watched a meteor shower
6. Given more than you can afford to charity
7. Been to Disneyland
8. Climbed a mountain
9. Held a praying mantis
10. Sang a solo
11. Bungee jumped
12. Visited Paris
13. Watched a lightning storm
14. Taught yourself an art from scratch
15. Adopted a child
16. Had food poisoning
17. Walked to the top of the Statue of Liberty
18. Grown your own vegatables
19. Seen the Mona Lisa in France
20. Slept on an overnight train
21. Had a pillow fight
22. Hitch hiked
23. Taken a sick day when you're not ill
24. Built a snow fort
25. Held a lamb
26. Gone skinny dipping
27. Run a marathon
28. Ridden in a gondola in Venice
29. Seen a total eclipse
30. Watched a sunrise or sunset
31. Hit a home run
32. Been on a cruise
33. Seen Niagara Falls in person
34. Visited the birthplace of your ancestors
35. Seen an Amish community
36. Taught yourself a new language
37. Had enough money to be truly satisfied
38. Seen the Leaning Tower of Pisa in person
39. Gone Rock climbing
40. Seen Michelangelo's David
41. Sung karaoke
42. Seen Old Faithful geyser erupt
43. Bought a stranger a meal at a restaurant
44. Visited Africa
45. Walked on a beach by moonlight
46. Been transported in an ambulance
47. Had your portrait painted
48. Gone deep sea fishing
49. Seen the Sistine Chapel in person
50. Been to the top of the Effel Tower in Paris
51. Gone scuba diving or snorkeling
52. Kissed in the rain
53. Played in the mud
54. Gone to a drive-in theater
55. Been in a movie
56. Visited the Great Wall of China
57. Started a business
58. Taken a martial arts class
59. Visited Russia
60. Served at a soup kitchen
61. Sold Girl Scout Cookies
62. Gone Whale Watching
63. Got flowers for no reason
64. Donated blood, platelets or plasma
65. Gone sky diving
66. Visited a Nazi Concentration Camp
67. Bounced a check
68. Flown in a helicopter
69. Save a favorite childhood toy
70. Vistied the Lincoln Memorial
71. Eaten Caviar
72. Pieced a quilt
73. Stood in Times Square
74. Toured the Everglades
75. Been fired from a job
76. Seen the Changing of the Guards in London
77. Broken a bone
78. Been a passenger on a motorcycle
79. Seen the Grand Canyon in person
80. Publish a book
81. Visited the Vatican
82. Bought a brand new car
83. Walked in Jerusalem
84. Had your picture in the newspaper
85. Kissed a stanger at midnight on NYE
86. Visited the White House
87. Killed and prepared an animal for eating
88. Had chickenpox
89. Saved someone's life
90. Sat on a jury
91. Met someone famous
92. Joined a book club
93. Gotten a tatoo
94. Had a baby
95. Seen the Alamo in person
96. Swan in the Great Salt Lake
97. Been involved in a law suit
98. Owned a cell phone
99. Been stung by a bee