And this is what $4000 worth of meds looks like...

I feel like I have buried treasure in our house. It is like our own little pot of gold....only I don't hope to catch a leprechaun. I am going to catch a baby!

We had our injection class yesterday. It was proceeded by a baseline ultrasound and some bloodwork (which I did not know I was having done!). I was so nervous that we were going to get cancelled for this cycle because of the whole snafu with the antibiotic. But I wore my lucky penguin necklace and kept rubbing that little penguin for all the Positive Penguin Vibes (PPV) I could get. More on the penguin front in a bit....just know that it worked! We are on for IVF and Nurse D gave us the start of our meds. I had to order the Lupron from another pharmacy (which I did this morning) and that will get shipped to us on Monday. I officially start my first injection on Thursday morning. It is two injections a day for about 10-12 days. Every twelve hours. Can I say I am excited about this? Nope. But it is eye-on-the-prize time and I am focusing on the fact that we will be parents when this done.

During the class, we had to practice mixing the drugs and then injecting them. It was all pretend meds (just sterile saline) and we injected into a foam block. Even for this my hands were shaky and sweaty. My stomach felt like I was riding a roller coaster. I feel like I have it down about mixing the meds but the whole shove the needle into my belly part...not so much. I am going to try doing the first one myself but BJ will be there to back me up if needed. But the fact is that I have to do it myself at some point because I have to go to Fort Bragg by myself and who will give it to me then? So here are some pics of the process...I plan to photo document this whole thing.

My meds...chilling on the counter waiting to be used...4 boxes each - $500 each!

One box of each med opened...this is the contents. Do you see the needles????

Our calender. It is a day by day guide of what meds to take and when to take them. Pretty much know that I will be a hormonal mess the week of the 8th...thank goodness that I will be at Bragg and BJ will be home! I won't be driving him totally crazy with all my wacky emotions!

My Penguin Necklace

So let me explain the penguin. I joined an infertility message board a few months ago. I am an information addict. I want to know every.little.thing.about.every.little.thing when it comes to this whole IVF process. I tend to be one that if I prepare myself for the worse...what ever happens in the end is something I can handle. Case in point, I thought I was going to have to do PIO (progesterone in oil) shots after the ER and ET. I was all in a panic because these are IM shots and I could not wrap my head around the fact that I would have to give them to myself. Sub-Q into my belly...sure! IM into my rear...hell no! But I gathered my info and all but accosted every nurse I met with a plea to do the shots for me. Well, I found out yesterday...no PIO shots!....I have to do progesterone suppositories. Easy! Phew! So back to the penguins, this board I joined adopted the penguin as their mascot because of the lengths penguins go to have a baby. Both penguin parents share the responsibility of carrying the egg through the harsh weather and then when the chick arrives they both care for the chick...feeding and protecting it. So the ladies on this board send each other PPV and put pictures of penguins on their siggies (the info that appears at the end of their posts). So a few weeks ago, I was out shopping and while I was at Walmart...I saw this necklace. I nearly fell over. I told BJ about it and he got me this necklace to wear during our treatment. I plan to wear it to every appointment. It is my good luck charm. :) So far it is working!

So I have to share my recent splurge.

I kept seeing a commercial (I have no idea what it was for) that one of the actors is wearing these adorable red shoes. Every time I saw it...I loved these shoes more and more. I finally decided to try and find them. Zappos to the rescue! I searched for red shoes and scoured every page...then I found them. At first I was bummed because they did not have my size. But I read the reviews and everyone commented about how they run very narrow. I checked my size in a wide width...they had them! So I ordered them and two days later they were delivered! The fit is perfect and I can't wait to wear them. I figured since I can't really buy clothes right now...refuse to buy maternity before I am official pregnant but don't want to invest in clothes that I may not be able to wear at all...shoes are doable! And my other reasoning...while pregnant, I can't wear heels but I need nice shoes to wear to any events that I need to attend. Hence these shoes...

The beauties!