My Birth Plan

I have an idea of what I want to happen when I give birth to my daughter. I also realize that things don't always go as planned...

I have a terrible fear of needles. Have you read any of my posts during my IVF cycles? It took a ton of strength and willpower for me to give myself twice daily injections for 2 weeks straight and then to follow up with a fantastic trigger shot to the ass. I loved it! (Insert rolling eyes here...) And because I have this fear...I want to avoid any and all needles that I can while in labor.

Obviously, some needles cannot be avoided while in labor or giving birth to a baby. If I have to have a c-section, it is inevitable. I'm not that crazy to think that one could go through that without any needles. Duh! But I do not want an epidural if I don't need one. And I will be honest...I am terrified of having one. Like scared shitless!

I can totally do this! I know that....without a doubt. But most people seem to disagree. I have no problem with those that have had epidurals...I guess it is just my normal "to each their own" attitude. I try really hard to not judge others decisions in their own life. I just wish people would do the same for me. I cannot tell you how many other women have said "you have to get an epidural" like I don't have any other option. I do try to defend myself but mostly it is just answered with "you cannot give birth without it" or "there is no way you will be able to handle the pain". My new comeback is "well, when you give birth to my child...you can get your epidural". Period. End of subject.

My husband supports my decision and knows that I am free to change my mind at any point. And he knows that when I say I want an epidural that I am not being weak or ready to give up. It means that I am serious and things have changed for me.

Weekly Update!

How Far Along: 24 weeks (and 1 day)
How Big is The Baby: She is weighing about 1 1/2 lbs...length varies from source to source but still anywhere from 8-12 inches.
Total Weight Gain: +3pounds
Maternity Clothes: yep!
Sleep: Not sleeping that great...I am struggling with some pain from my pelvic bones being out of alignment
GENDER: It's a girl!!!
Movement: Still feel her every day...so far BJ has not been able to feel her move though.
Food Cravings: No true cravings this week...but when I get hungry, it's serious!
What I Miss: I would love to kick back with a glass of wine right now.
What I'm looking forward to: I am really hoping my OB can get me hooked up with a chiropractor and fix my pelvic bones. :/
Milestones: At 24 weeks...baby girl has a 50% chance of surviving if born now. It is referred to as Viability Day!
Symptoms: I have been having terrible pain in my pubic bone area. The only way to describe it would be the feeling of having lots of crazy, wild sex...which I have not had. There is no comfortable position...sitting, standing, lying down all hurt to some degree. My OB (who happens to have a D.O. medical degree) adjusted me last week. My hip bones were off by 2 inches! It felt a bit better as far as immediate walking but the pain never really went away. I finally called yesterday after suffering through this another week and she is trying to get me in with a chiropractor to have weekly adjustments. What sucks the most is that the only thing I can take is Tylenol.

Getting Involved!

So this is going to be totally not baby related! Shocking!

BJ and I were at the O'club last night for our normal happy hour..we go every Wednesday. It also happened to be the OWC Happy Hour. Only 4 ladies (besides myself and K...she also comes to HH every Wednesday) showed up but the 6 of us sat at a table and chit-chatted. I always love to just sit and hang out with girlfriends!

So the conversation turned to the OWC board for the upcoming year. Our current president was there and I mentioned that I would like to get involved more. I just was not sure how or where I would fit in. We started talking about available board positions and I decided to throw my hat in the ring for one of them.

So this morning...I emailed the powers that be and said I would like to take on the historian position. I would be responsible for documenting the year's events in pictures. How fun is that? It just means that I have to go to the events...which I already do....take pictures...which I enjoy doing and we even bought a new camera recently!...and then getting them published on the website. I can do this!

And I think it is something I can do with a small baby. Maddie will be a year old by the time the year is up and when things truly get rolling, she will be about 3 months old. So I will be more comfortable putting her in the drop-in daycare on base. I tend to preach the idea that you have to put yourself out there and get involved if you want to make a difference and now I am taking my own advice!

My Weekly Update!

I know, I know...I missed a week. We were in Seattle for about a week and I decided not to take my laptop. And I am not adept at posting on my blog from my phone. I have a phone that should be able to that but I have never tried and honestly have no desire to try and type out a blog post on my phone. Talk about a pain in the ass!

We had a great time though and I ate lots of yummy food that I just can't get in North Carolina. I also spent a whole day with my mom shopping for this little girl. :) We went to a boutique store that carries the stroller that we want and test drove 2 strollers that we were deciding between. The store has such cute stuff and if we lived there I would end up spending lots of money there! We also hit up Old Navy and Gymboree. And that is where we found her little swimsuit for this summer...yay!

Since we live so close to the beach...this was an important task. We also had specific criteria for said swimsuit....I wanted a 2 piece for easy diaper changes, BJ wanted a suit that covered as much of her skin as possible to protect her from getting a sunburn. The suit I found fits both requests! It is a 2 piece and the top is a rash guard so it is like a t-shirt. And I found a matching hat! She will be looking adorable out at the beach this summer!

So onto the weekly update....

How Far Along: 23 weeks today!
How Big is The Baby: According to the books she should weigh over a pound by now and anywhere between 8 and 11 inches long.
Total Weight Gain: +3pounds....I know I am going to gain weight but this makes me a little sad. I guess all the yummy food I ate while visiting Seattle was not the best idea. :/
Maternity Clothes: yep!
Sleep: Sleep has been an issue this past couple of weeks...our trip was rough on me for sleep and the few days we have been home I have not slept that great.
GENDER: It's a girl!!! Although I will be honest...I am freaked out that the u/s tech was wrong. I have heard a few stories lately about people being told one gender and the baby was actually the other.
Movement: I feel her at least once a day but usually a few times a day. During one of our flights home, I actually saw my belly move! Has not happened since though.
Food Cravings: I guess you could call it a craving but I had 2 food requests while we were in Seattle. Taco Time and Burgermaster. I had them both.
What I Miss: Nothing too bad right now.
What I'm looking forward to: We are painting the nursery this weekend and all of her furniture and bedding has arrived so after the room is painted we will get everything in it's place!
Milestones: At my OB appointment this week, the doctor used the measuring tape to measure my belly for the first time! I am measuring 1 week ahead....hopefully that means she will be a nice healthy weight!
Symptoms: Nothing different...still have heartburn....still hate Tums.

My Weekly Update

Oops...I forgot to do this yesterday. I am going to blame it on my FB friends that have gotten me hooked on Oregon Trail. Thanks ladies!

We are now on the down slope of pregnancy. Things are going well and staying very low-key. Like that! We purchased our furniture and some of it has already arrived at JC Penney...we just have to go pick it up. Hopefully that will happen later today when BJ gets home from duty. :) We are waiting to hear from the property owners if we can paint the room the color we want. The room has to get painted regardless because the walls are scuffed (that was done before we moved in) but it would great if we could do a color we like. Fingers crossed!

So without further ado......

How Far Along: 21 weeks (and 1 day today)
How Big is The Baby: She is about 3/4 of a pound and the length of a carrot.
Total Weight Gain: only about 1 pound lighter than when I started...the weight is starting to creep on.
Maternity Clothes: yes but still able to wear some non-maternity tops.
Sleep: I am waking up at least once a night to pee...whoever said that decreases during the 2nd trimester lied.
GENDER: It's a girl!!!
Movement: Finally! I felt the first tap on Sunday while I was driving...I was not sure it was real at first but this tapping has happened at least once a day every day since then. And she likes to play in the middle of the night...she woke me up (although I did have to pee) at about 3 am the other night. Gonna have to work on her schedule!
Food Cravings: Breakfast foods! :)
What I Miss: I was missing deli meat...so I cheated and had some.
What I'm looking forward to: Traveling to Seattle to visit my family! I am so excited to see everyone.
Milestones: She is moving!
Symptoms: I am peeing more often (way more than I did during the 1st tri) and still dealing with heartburn. Still hate Tums.

I Was That Girl Today.

I had the wonderful task of getting my friend Christa to her FET today. I was so happy to be able to help her out and be a source of support. You see Christa lives in Connecticut and our mutual RE (the fabulous Dr. P) is here in beautiful North Carolina. Since she was only flying in for 2 days...I offered for her to stay with me and that I would drive her to her appointment. (She had to take Valium beforehand so she was not going to be able to drive herself.)

So we leave the house and embark on our 2 1/2 hour drive...with a short pitstop to Cracker Barrel for breakfast. I was pretty darn proud of myself for getting her there on time! Unfortunately there was a hold up at the hospital and Dr. P was delayed for over an hour. Thankfully Nurse D let Christa empty her bladder and refill it...lucky her. :) There was a waiting room full of patients waiting for their ET's or IUI's.

And I was sitting there. The pregnant girl at the infertility clinic. Great.

It was so odd to be back at the same clinic where my little Nemo was created. Where I got to see her first picture as an 8 cell embryo. And there I sat with my friend as she waited to have her FET. Christa and I talked and joked around with one another. And when Nurse D and Ms. G got there I went and said hi to them and showed them my latest u/s pictures. But I felt guilty.

Guilty that I have made it to that other side.
Guilty that I am not one of those sitting there waiting for that ET.
Guilty that my 1 lonely embryo became my sweet baby girl.

And those couples sitting there, feeling all those same feelings that I have felt, have no idea that I have walked in their shoes. But I do understand. I do know. I know the pain of seeing some pregnant lady all excited about her baby. The jealousy that comes when you hear about someone else being pregnant. That overwhelming desire to just have a baby.

It is a struggle that so many infertile women go through once that reach the goal of being pregnant. Your heart is bursting with joy and happiness but your head is still waiting for that other shoe to drop. For the craptastic side of infertility to swing in and make your life a living hell. You feel a kinship to those women who have stood beside you during your own journey and even though you are "on the other side" you want to still stand with them. But can you? Do they want you there? Is it going to be painful for them to see you with a growing belly?

And the guilt sets in......

We Bought Furniture!

Our sweet baby girl just got her bedroom furniture purchased for her!

It was a tough decision but we decided to go with JCPenney. I found a set that included the crib, tall dresser and low dresser for one price. It is the Hartford Straight-Back set....we love the simple, classic lines and of course the price. We wanted a set that would convert to a toddler bed and a full size bed and this totally fit the bill!

I really wanted to stay around $1000 for all of the furniture that we would need. This set is on sale for $750 so our $1000 got us the conversion rails and a bookcase. Tres important since reading is going to be part of our regular bedtime routine! We are re-using our LazyBoy recliner (covering it with a slipcover since it is navy blue)which makes me actually look forward to those middle of the night feedings. It is super comfy!

I am so excited for it to get here and set it all up!

We also decided on bedding for little Miss Madison. We are going with MiGi Blossom...totally girly without being obnoxious. I am thinking of doing the walls a lightly pink-tinted white. What do you think? This all started from wanting to find a cute knitted coming home outfit that would look good hanging from a shelf on the wall. I found a few things that I like but have not totally decided on that.

I have also made my first official purchase of clothes for her. Surprisingly harder than I thought it would be. I got a sleeper that is pink and white stripes and says "I love Daddy" on it and a yellow and white striped dress with navy blue polka dot trim and bloomers. And of course bows! She has to have bows!